Laundry Dragon

This was strange. Lex had just walked into his apartment and was immediately greeted by the presence of a very large and tall box. Heavy, too, as he determined by immediately poking his snout into what was undoubtedly his roommate’s business. “Wei? What’s this thing in the kitchen?” There was no response. He walked over to his roommate’s bedroom, but the dragon was nowhere to be seen. “Huh. Well, I’m sure he won’t mind if I check out what he got.”

The wolf popped out a claw, tearing the box’s taped edges and peeling it apart entirely since he couldn’t move the object within. The object within being... A washing machine? Not very exciting. Although it had a curious, head-like fixture on top and attachments on its sides that could be considered limbs. Well, he’d already gone as far as to open it, might as well turn it on. He fumbled around for a bit, trying to discover something that would do that. After pressing around, he finally discovered that the blue orb in the position of its ‘right ear’ depressed, at which point the machine made a pleasant chime.

A black, shiny strip that went from blue orb to blue orb across its ‘head’ suddenly lit up fully. Then the machine started to whir. The head started to extend up, revealing corrugated white plastic hosing connecting it to the rest of the machine. Lex took a step back while it continued to turn on, shifting as it did. The attachments on its sides started to move as well. Dual rings on each side protruded slightly with something that resembled thick, stiff arms. The rings themselves unfurled to form a claw, two-pronged on top and a single digit below. Lastly, the machine stood up slightly as three-pronged ‘floor mounts’ revealed themselves to be long, flat metal ‘feet’.

The machine finished adjusting, then its head craned slightly forward as if to look at the purple wolf. The LCD on its head cleared back to black, then switched to display two big blue oval eyes. “Hello!” It said, in a chipper, electronic voice. “I am your Kikai® Front Loading Washer-Dryer, Dragon Model™!” Lex stared up at it, jaw dropped. The head made it only slightly taller actually-- it was a pretty compact ‘dragon’ since most of it was a washing machine. Said washing machine blinked. “I can guide you on how to use me, if you need. For starters, you will find my washing chamber behind the door on my ‘belly’!”

The choice of word made Lex’s ear twitch. He decided to oblige the dragon by inspecting the chamber. The door had an aqua-tinted bubble window, and opening it revealed a normal, if expansive drum. Out of curiosity, he crouched down and looked up inside. There was some sort of opening on top, although its aperture was closed. He grinned and stood back up, closing the door. The machine asked, “Was the washing drum to your satisfaction? You took longer than average to inspect it.”

Lex’s tail wagged a bit and then he said, “Oh, I was just checking... something.”

“...Well, did you have any questions? I am here to help!”

“Hmm. Well, since you mentioned it... Why are you a dragon?”

“I’m glad you asked! Kikai determined that AI-powered machines are more popular when given anthropomorphized characteristics. So I am made to resemble a dragon, but there are other models such as: Elephant and Hippo!”

“Nice! Well I have to say, I do like you. Say... If you’re a dragon, where are your wings? And tail?” Lex peeked around the washer, as if to try and spot those features.

“Well, I do have something like those but they are normally hidden since they take up excessive space and aren’t strictly necessary. But since you asked...!” Suddenly he heard something click on its back, and a white, flat piece of metal rotated to face outward on each side. Two more subsequently shorter segments joined it, creating something that resembled wings. Then corrugating tubing, wider and longer than its neck, expanded out from its lower back side, with a nozzle at the end. “The wings are purely decorative, but the tail actually serves as an auxiliary hose if needed for certain washing scenarios! Only the best from Kikai.”

“That’s so cool! Wow, you really are a dragon, huh? Hey, do you have something like a name?”

The washer’s eyes changed to arcs, resembling smiling eyes. “I do not officially have a name, besides my product name I told you!”

“Hmm... How about I call you Kikai. I don’t think we have any other products by them, so you’re unique in that regard!”

“Oh, thank you! I am fine with anything you wish to call me.”

Lex chuckled, but now he wanted to ask about something that was growing in his mind. Something that was maybe a bit... personal. Lucky that his roommate wasn’t home. “So. Kikai. I wanted to ask... Why do you have a mouth?”

“Well like I said, my design is anthropomorphized to--”

“Yeah, I heard that, what I meant was: Why does it connect to the drum down there?”

“Oh! Sorry for the misunderstanding. As part of the anthropomorphic design, I have an extra entry port in my ‘mouth’ where users can have me ‘eat’ clothes to wash!”

His tail was wagging even quicker from the answer. “Could I... test that out? He took off his t-shirt and offered it to Kikai, who looked down at it. Its mechanical jaws parted and clamped onto the shirt. Then, lacking any sort of tongue or other muscles to eat with, it simply tossed its head back into the air, allowing the shirt to slide down its throat until it reached the interior drum. After it landed inside, the dragon played a stock burp.

“Yum yum!” It said, tapping the sides of its front with its claw-hands. “I hope you like that feature. Of course, that entry port can handle more clothes than that, and--”

“Could I fit in there?”

There was a moment of silence. Kikai’s screen-eyes flickered quite a bit. Then finally it said, “The auxiliary clothes port is only authorized for clothes! Your warranty may be rendered void if it is used in unauthorized ways.”

Lex stared at the dragon, examining it closely. He opened the main door again, poking his head inside to check it out. The machine complained again about it being similarly warranty-breaking to enter the washer, but it seemed like he’d probably fit, if a bit tightly. He pulled his head back out and locked eyes with the washer dragon. He leaned forward, putting his elbows on its top and maintaining that eye contact, making the dragon awkwardly curl its neck in turn. “I’m your... owner, right? So you have to do what I say?”

“I’m not required to do any action that would be against local laws and regulations, the terms and conditions of myself, my warranty, or--” Tired of hearing boilerplate lines, Lex suddenly pushed himself up so that his head was right inside right inside the metal jaws. It stopped moving its jaws instantly, but its voice continued to come from around his ears. “P-Please remove your head from my mouth!”

Instead, Lex grinned from inside it and started to push his snout into the dragon’s ‘throat’. Kikai was helpless to do anything as Lex started to push himself in further, eventually managing to squeeze his entire head past the first port. He found the inside more flexible, the tubing distending to fit him. By miracle his shoulders managed to follow, and from there it was easy. Kikai continued to plead for him to reverse course, but it wasn’t permitted to stop him.

Lex’s hindpaws clambered onto the washer blindly as he continued inwards, and at this point gravity was taking over. The dragon’s LCD looked very shocked, not that there was anyone to see it. Soon, the wolf was at the bottom of its throat, which was still closed. Even as his hindpaws slipped past the metal jaws and it ‘slurped’ his tail up, the aperture refused to open.

He shifted uncomfortably, being that he was upside down inside its gullet. The rippled plastic hose bulged each and every way as he struggled to get comfortable. It wasn’t where he wanted to be, for sure. “Kikai...! I know this is an ‘unauthorized usage’ of you and stuff, but I don’t think you can get me out of here at this point... You might as well finish swallowing me.” The washing machine was working way harder than it should, trying its best to handle a very unexpected scenario. Its auxiliary clothes port was containing far more than it should, considering its throat wasn’t even long enough to hold the entire wolf upright.

There was only one way to go. The eyes on its LCD switched to arrows pointing inwards, as if it was struggling to swallow him down. Then the aperture finally relented, opening up and allowing Lex to squeeze down into its ‘belly’. He grinned as he realized he got his way, saying, “Thank you Kikai~!” The secondary port into the drum was just as tight as the one before, but the space beyond it was much more open. His shirt from earlier barely comforted what was otherwise a hard surface to land on. Carefully, as his body slowly slid through the hole, he found himself tightly curled up inside the metal walls.

After the tip of his tail passed through, the aperture closed behind him. As he settled he heard the very same burp from earlier and Kikai said, “Yum yum!”, patting on each side of him. Then after a pause, it said, “I’m sorry! That was an automatic response. Are you okay in there?”

Lex sighed as he got into a somewhat comfortable position, as curled as he was. “It could be a little comfier, but it was fun to get... ‘swallowed’ by you, hehe.”

“...Oh!” The machine wasn’t sure how to process that, exactly. “Well, I can maybe help with the comfort, by unlocking the drum.” Lex wasn’t sure what it meant by that, but then he heard a click and the drum started to gently shift from side to side.

“Oh, that’s nice!” He helped get it going a bit more, rocking him back and forth from the momentum. He smiled and closed his eyes, imagining a more organic version of the current chamber. “Hey Kikai... Are you full?”

“Well, volumetrically, no! ...However you are quite heavy, and while I do not have a scale, I’m sure you’re beyond the recommended weight limit of my washing chamber.”

He chuckled. The dragon’s ‘stomach’ had a nice, dim, blue light to it from what was filtering in through the observation window. There was a sort of warmth too, something that was starting to invite him to the concept of sleeping inside it. Just as he shut his eyes and started to drift off, he heard Kikai cheerfully say, “Hi!” His eyes shot open.

This was strange. Wei had just walked into his apartment and was immediately greeted by the presence of his dragon washer, on. “...Hi. You were inside your box when I left. Who turned you on?”

It was more than happy to answer, “Someone else! A wolf. Do you know him?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I know him. I also know he shouldn’t be messing with my stuff. Lex?!” He shouted the name into the apartment, but got no answer. Lex watched, holding his muzzle shut, as his roommate’s legs walked past the window. Eventually, they came back and he could see the dragon’s black tail twitching from irritation. “Why would he turn you on and just leave...? Do you know where he went?”

Kikai hesitated. What they were doing was definitely warranty-voiding. However, lying was against its very code. “He... is... inside.”

Lex mentally thought as hard as he could, You snitch! There was terrible tension as his roommate stood there, confused. Then he watched helplessly as a familiar, dragonic face appeared. And swung open the door. They stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments before Lex attempted to defuse the situation. “Heeeey, roomie! I was just... Uh, testing out your new washing machine?”

“Uh-huh. Usually that doesn’t involve being inside it... shirtless. And...” Wei glanced towards Lex’s lower half, which he immediately covered with his shirt.

“I-It’s not what you think! I mean Kikai here, I just saw that it had a mouth port, so--”

“Kikai, huh? Named my washing machine?” He cracked a smile. “Not a very creative name, I have to say.” Wei took a moment to look up at Kikai, noticing its mouth port behind the jaws for the first time. “I see. So you saw a dragon that couldn’t refuse you, and you just had to shove your paws down its throat.” Lex blushed deeply, unable to respond further. “Well, I’m glad you turned it on. I do happen to have a load of clothes that need washing.” With that, he closed the door back on his roommate and left.

Not long after, he returned with a basket of clothes. He lifted up a pile and dropped it on top of the machine. “Eat up, ‘Kikai’.” The machine nodded and obediently started to gulp down clumps of clothes, while Wei tossed the rest in using the door.

Lex tried to toss clothes off his face as soon as they landed, but they were coming in from two different directions. On one hand now it was really feeling like he was inside a filling stomach, but on the other he was being teased and embarrassed. “Wei!” He deflected another shirt from hitting his face. “Let me get out of here!”

As Wei finished, he bent over so he could see his roommate again. “Well, you’re the one who wanted to be in a dragon’s stomach. I think you’re missing some elements, so maybe a wash cycle will help you get off?” Before Lex could complain again, the dragon shut the door. He stood up and looked down at a secondary display, which had normal wash settings available on it. It wasn’t the best for his clothes, but he decided to put it on the highest settings available.

Before he could hit start, Kikai said, “Wait! You shouldn’t start the washing process with non-clothing items inside the chamber!”

Unfazed, Wei pressed the button. “I don’t suppose you eating him was recommended either, was it?”

Kikai’s eyes shifted to an embarrassed, albeit concerned look as water started to pump into its interior. “What if... his fur gets all over your clothes?”

Wei shrugged and started to walk away. “He’ll have to wash them again! His fault, not mine. I’m going to go hop on my computer, I’ll check on you in an hour.” Kikai nodded, then looked down at itself. It wasn’t sure what to expect. Its warranty was so void...

In the meantime, Lex’s heart fluttered from conflicting emotions as he heard and felt water start to pour in. The drum jolted as a motor shook it, tumbling him around so the water would cover him and the clothes thoroughly. He tried to push open the door, but it was very securely locked to prevent water spillage during the wash cycle. Which, after a few minutes, really began. He suddenly found himself being spun around very quickly, tumbling him around and around and around, until it pinned him against the walls from the force.

He was immediately dizzy. It eventually stopped but he could hardly recover before it started spinning again, this time in the opposite direction. Water sprayed on him from what seemed like every direction, increasingly warm as the system got going. He could hear, very distortedly, the sound of Kikai saying “Sorry!” repeatedly as he spun around, clockwise, counter-clockwise. Fortunately, it seemed like the water wouldn’t go higher than his neck when he was laying across the bottom, but the constant spinning made sure it got absolutely everywhere.

Not to mention, as the water got warmer, he felt increasingly strange. Soap was starting to enter the mix too, which added an incredibly strong floral scent to everything. But more than that, he felt like he was struggling to separate his perception from the clothes around him. Kikai couldn’t digest... But something was happening. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about it except enjoy the ride for the next... however long was left.

Ding! Wei got up from his computer and walked over to the washing machine. “Sounds like my clothes are done... I wonder if my roommate is too?” He opened the door and said, “Alright Lex, had your fun?” Silence answered back. He glanced up at Kikai, then bent down to examine inside the cylinder. “Lex?” The wolf was nowhere to be seen, it was just a ton of wet clothes. He lifted them up and around, but it wasn’t like he could hide under them. He asked, “Kikai... Did you let him out?”

With its chipper voice twinged by concern, it said, “No! The washing chamber is sealed during the wash cycle to prevent water spillage... I’m not sure where he could have gone.”

Wei frowned, confused. “Hmm. Well, in that case, I guess I’ll just dry these. You can do that too, right?”

“Yup! Faster than all other comparable models!”

“Right. Well, just start it up on normal. I’m going to take a nap, but wake me up when they’re done.”

The machine nodded once more, beginning its included drying cycle. Somewhere inside, unknown to either of them, Lex barely stirred. He felt... indescribable. Buried, somehow. Soaked, too, though the warm water from before now left him cold. Slowly, over some unknown time frame and his own fading and returning awareness, he grew warm again. Separate. He was starting to become unburied as he was tossed around, dryer and dryer. Still... something was off.

Wei woke up some time later to the sight of his washing machine standing in his bedroom. Well, his dryer right now. It said cheerfully, “Clothes are dry!”

He sat up from the edge of his bed and once again, opened the machine’s door. Verifying that they were dry, he started to take them out and fold them onto his bed. As he pulled out all his clothes, it crossed his mind that he should’ve found Lex’s shirt, but it was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he did take it and escape somehow. As he reached the end of the laundry, he reached inside one last time and pulled out a very purple t-shirt. Odd. He didn’t have anything with that color. Then he flipped over the shirt to see its front and was greeted by a rather simplistic rendition of a familiar, purple wolf he knew.

Wei stared at the shirt and grew a smile. Somehow, he had a feeling... This was Lex. The face simply stared blankly up with a generic smile, but he could just tell. “Oh, wow, Lex... Seems like Kikai managed to churn you up somehow!”

Hearing his name aloud stirred Lex awake. He was... He was being held? He was so warm too. He couldn’t see very well, yet, but he thought he heard his roommate. Then he heard some shuffling. And he started to feel himself stretch, wrapping around something else. No... this was warm too. Someone else. They were going somewhere now. A bright light suddenly filled whatever vision he had, and he heard his roommate say, “Wow Lex. You look great on me.”

Finally, his ‘eyes’ adjusted. He was staring straight ahead, at a mirror. He looked... He didn’t look like himself. He was cartoonish. And he couldn’t move his face. But he was able to look up, and finally realized... He was a shirt. He had been turned into a shirt! Wei was wearing him right now, posing in the bathroom with his newly acquired purple t-shirt. He was taking pictures too, surely to show to their friends. He felt incredibly flustered, out of equal parts embarrassment and... other undisclosed feelings.

Wei noticed his shirt heating up slightly and said, “Oh, so you are aware! Here I thought I was teasing an empty room.” He pinched a bit of his shirt and continued, “Well, I don’t know how you got like this or how we’ll turn you back, but I’m sure you won’t mind if I add you to my wardrobe until then. I promise I won’t damage you or anything; I wouldn't want to ruin my brand-new shirt after all.” Lex wanted to say anything, even make a face, but all he could do was heat up slightly and realize he was going to be stuck with and on his roommate for a very, very long time.