Voretober 2022 - PATH

When Bradley came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his right.

There was simply no other choice. No sane man would’ve gone through the left door. Bradley continued down the hallway of his office, hoping to discover where exactly everyone else had gone. It took him a while to notice, but his office was oddly empty. He was sure his boss would forgive him for a little break while he investigated. Maybe he had simply missed a memo. He tried to stay on top of those, but nobody’s perfect.

He couldn’t help but notice, as he walked, that everyone had left in a rush. Work was still on desks, computers still logged in, half-eaten food left about! How careless. He’d have to host a meeting about proper policy and manners later. He considered the possibility that everyone was preparing a surprise party for him, but he couldn’t think of any reason. It wasn’t his birthday. Maybe he was getting a raise? Or better yet, a promotion! He couldn’t wait to reach Button Pusher III.

His hands were honestly getting a little fidgety with how long they were going without pushing a button. Just in the nick of time, he ran into some buttons. The keypad for a break room. He punched in the code, opening it just in time to find... Nothing. Not a soul. He did notice someone finally got around to putting up halloween decorations. There were a few skulls up on the countertop, each with nametags on them. Nametags of his co-workers, even! Adorable. They even looked like their heads. Bradley didn’t disturb them, which was fortunate since they were still wet.

Leaving the break room out the only other door, he thought about how convenient it was that his office was a series of hallways with nowhere else to go besides that one weird room. Sure, there were side doors for other employees’ offices, but they weren’t his. Not to mention he could easily see they were empty from the hall. As he rounded a corner, he spotted a wastebasket with several damaged uniforms hanging out of it. Bizarre, it wasn’t protocol to get rid of clothing that way. He made a mental note to return to that spot in the future.

The meeting room was coming up. Finally, he could figure out what was going on. He relished the opportunity to punch in his code again to another keypad. The light above the doorknob turned green so he could open the handle and join the rest of his co-workers. But they weren’t there. What was there was something blocking the way. An odd, black blob was preventing him from continuing along with his path, even if he wasn’t exactly sure what lay beyond the meeting room.

Bradley decided the best thing to do would be to poke the blob. It was soft, fuzzy even. The blob started to rotate in response, at which point he realized it was some sort of bird. A penguin, perhaps? Yes, that seemed right. The penguin’s face was high up, stacked upon mounds of fat. He wasn’t anyone Bradley had ever seen before, that much he was quite sure of. “Hello,” he said, “May I ask what you’re doing in our meeting room?”

Very simply, the penguin responded, “Why, I’m hosting the staff meeting!”

It all made sense to Bradley, now. Of course they’d be in the meeting room for a meeting. Maybe they simply hadn’t arrived. He remembered his manners. “My name is Bradley. I work in Button Pushing. What’s your name and occupation?”

The penguin answered, “My name is Polar, and I work in Narrative Control.”

Bradley was such a small cog in the machine, he had never heard of the department, but he didn’t doubt its existence. “Am I early?” He asked.

“You’re just on time! In fact, you couldn’t have gotten here any earlier.” Polar sounded positively delighted to have Bradley there.

“Where is everyone, then? I haven’t seen anyone all day!”

Polar reached a flipper down and patted his belly. “Why, they’re all in here, Bradley. And we’re ready for you to join the meeting now.”

Even if Bradley had felt any trepidation then, it’s not like he had ever turned back before. And what point would there be, if he was just going to end up here again? No point at all. Polar leaned forward and opened his beak wide, just tall enough for Bradley to walk on inside. No different than a normal hallway. A little warmer, a little wetter to be sure, but that’s all. The penguin’s maw was otherwise a perfectly functional, inviting, drooling doorway. So Bradley stepped inside.

The first thing Polar felt was his taste. Plain, but tasty, like a saltine. Bradley struggled to keep balanced on the penguin’s tongue as he walked forward, but he was nothing if not driven. Unfortunately, he couldn’t exactly walk down the host’s throat, but it was an easy enough accommodation for him to slide down it. He sat down at the end of his tongue, legs dangling over an abyss, and allowed himself to be swallowed.

The trip down was unlike anything Bradley had ever experienced. He’d never been down a vertical hallway before. It was like a smooth staircase, or maybe more of an escalator. Polar, meanwhile, was enjoying the feeling of another meal sliding down his gullet like all the ones before. He had, admittedly, forgotten this one, but he was fortunately willing to stick to his path. Not that he had a choice.

Polar was very satisfied with himself for having thought up such a plot to begin with. Those skulls in the break room were quite the set piece! He was worried it was a little rushed, but then again it was his first time making a narrative for a meal. Hopefully you would go easy on him. Sorry, he didn’t mean to use the second-person like that. He was just enjoying himself too much. Who knew a hundred or a thousand or however many employees were so fattening?

Ah, right. Bradley found himself in a new room, though it wasn’t much bigger than a closet. He couldn’t seem to see any of his co-workers. Did Polar lie to him? Well, he couldn’t go back now. The room he was in growled all around him, although he couldn’t understand its meaning. Suddenly, he noticed something or someone on the other side of the stomach. His co-worker? He crawled over to check and indeed it was, though they were a little too skeletal to greet him.

So this was his fate now. His one and only path. He could forget about Button Pusher whatever, his only role now was Penguin Pudge. A role shared by the rest of the company. At least he knew what he was doing. He’d be very good at it, too. There was just a hint of sadness in his expression when he realized he wasn’t going to be getting a promotion. More of a transferral. Just eternity as a small amount of blubber on an already oversized penguin.

The end. Bradley’s species? I don’t care. I mean, Polar doesn’t care. He was just another morsel. Stop reading this! I- Polar is just hungry. That’s all you need to know. The. End.