Voretober 2022 - JAM

An inch tall. That was the operating height for this mission. It was ideal for sneaking in and out of places. If dangerous and plain uncomfortable. Fortunately for his boss, Luther was loyal to a fault. The small bulldog still had to wait for a few doors, but he wasn’t noticeable. The worst part was avoiding much bigger paws. And waiting for so many doors to open. Despite his stature, there wasn’t much of a way to crawl through airtight electronically locked doors. And he wasn’t about to hike up to the keypad to hack it.

His mission was very simple, really. He had to infiltrate this laboratory. The lab of Dr. Occi, eccentric endosomatic experimenter. The wolf and his lynx assistant were the only two regular workers he knew of. He didn’t even have to steal anything in particular, he just needed to scan a notebook. His boss didn’t tell him what was actually inside, but it was probably beyond his pay grade anyway. Or his understanding. Between his boss and Occi, they were probably the two most brilliant scientists in the world.

But brilliance didn’t equate to attentiveness. Luther made it deep enough by running behind Dr. Occi as he passed through many doors. Often he only barely made it in time to get in. By the time they had actually got to his main room, where he kept his notes, the diminutive dog was wheezing from the effort. He sounded like a chew toy. Luckily, the room’s ambient noise was enough to drown himself out.

Once he recovered his breath, he tapped his earpiece and said, “I’m in.”

The line crackled and then he heard, “Understood. Can you see his notebook anywhere?”

“...No, I need to get higher ground. But it’s probably near him.”

“Then make your way up there, you dolt!” The line returned to silence, and Luther grunted as he looked for a way to climb up. The easiest route would be climbing up the wolf himself, but he wasn’t sure he was that oblivious. The next best seemed to be to climb up his chair instead. He wished he was given a grappling hook or something else besides the recording device.

Scurrying up the sheer metal legs was hard enough. But if that wasn’t enough, he had to avoid the big duster that was Dr. Occi’s tail idly sweeping back and forth too. It threatened to send him flying to the floor, but thanks to his intense gripping-for-dear-life onto the chair cushion’s edge, it didn’t. Eventually, during a lull, he was able to pull himself up all the way. At that point he was forced to crawl across the cushion treacherously close to the doctor’s rear. The thought of being crushed under it wasn’t a particularly appealing one.

In time, he crawled over to the side and began another steep ascent up the chair’s back. It was a long, shaky climb as the structure wobbled constantly with Occi’s movements, but eventually he reached the top. He wanted to make a proclamation, as if he had just hiked an extraordinarily high mountain. But that would give him away, and he didn’t get a chance anyway.

He heard the lab door open and a female lynx scientist appeared in the doorway. She called out, “Dr. Occi?” And suddenly, Luther’s world whirled around him. His feet lost the ground and he realized he was flying somewhere. Before he could even think another thought he bounced, then hit metal with less than lethal speed. As he groaned with the pain of being alive, he opened his eyes back up and realized he had ended up behind the scientist’s journal. Said scientist was turned around, talking to his assistant.

It was the perfect opportunity. He wasn’t sure how long it would last, but they seemed fairly engaged, so he scrambled to his feet. He pulled out four black cubes from a pocket on his belt and put two at the corner he was already close to, top and bottom. Then he scurried to the other side and did the same. Clicking a button on the last one, all four of the cubes came online. A thin blue line of light connected them and they began to creep down the journal.

While those did their job, Luther reported to his boss. He was quiet just in case, but he didn’t think the other two normal-sized people in the room would hear him over their own relatively booming voices. “This is Luther. Scan is in progress. How am I leaving, sir?”

The line crackled again and then two words came through. “You’re not.”

Luther jumped as he looked up at the big wolf whose elbow had suddenly thudded onto the journal in front of him. He was still turned away, but it was a reminder of how dangerous his situation was. “S-Sir?”

“It is paramount that my espionage not be discovered. Therefore, it is paramount you not be discovered. Leaving the way you came in is a risk I will not abide.” There was a pause. Luther realized he wasn’t even breathing. The black cubes had just reached the other end and started to return. His boss’s voice suddenly returned with a firm, “Luther. Do you see any food or beverage where you are?”

Obligingly, Luther looked around. “Uh... There’s a glass of water and maybe half of a PB&J sandwich near me.”

“Very well. Hide yourself within the sandwich.”

Luther almost wanted to take the earpiece out and clean it, but he knew he heard perfectly well. “Sir?! Isn’t there a risk that I’ll be-”

“Eaten? I’m counting on it, Luther. He’ll never suspect a spy within his own stomach.” There was another gap of silence. His boss impatiently continued, “You’ll be extracted at a later date, but you must hurry! We can’t afford detection. Besides, how do you think Dr. Occi will react when he sees a little bug on his desk?”

Luther cringed as he imagined a gruesome end. “U-Understood, sir. I’ll... I’ll do it.” The line clicked off without so much as an acknowledgement, leaving him alone with his decision. The black cubes returned to his side, automatically floating back to him in a nice stack. He pocketed them and looked over to the food. It wasn’t far, just a quick dash across the desk. Dr. Occi was still turned away, chatting. But the conversation was wrapping up. It was now or never.

He sprinted over, reaching the paper plate the sandwich was on in a few seconds. Up close, the sandwich was about as tall as him. Jelly was leaking out onto his toes and the smell of peanut butter was overpowering. But it was only going to get worse. He saw Occi swing back around and face his desk. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he plunged between the two slices of bread.

His waist was about as far as he made it before stopping. It was dark and horribly sticky. He couldn’t decide if the peanut butter’s dry gluing or the jelly soaking in was worse. But either way, both worked together to hold him firmly in place. He barely managed to pull his legs in when suddenly he was lifted up. A row of teeth came down in front of him, then tore away to reveal what was next. Dr. Occi simply, absentmindedly chewed up his bite and then swallowed.

Then the next bite came for him. He watched with held breath as warm wolf breath washed over him. His view was slowly overtaken by the pink, dark expanses of his maw. He let out an involuntary squeak as he felt teeth clamp dangerously near his legs. Then he was ripped away from the rest of the sandwich. The bread fell apart around him as a tongue underneath tossed him around. By sheer luck, he narrowly avoided being chewed to bits. Shortly, as quickly as he entered, he was swallowed whole.

Dr. Occi didn’t perceive a single thing. The bite went down a little rougher than usual, but it had become a bad habit for him to swallow things without thoroughly chewing. Without being told, there was no way he would ever know about the small canine being subjected to his digestive system. There would be no evidence his notes had been stolen. And no sign there was ever someone by the name of Luther in his lab.